9:16 PM

Beyonce is currently in labor in Lenox Hill Hospital in NYC!  I declare tonight BeHovamas Eve! The birth of this baby means a whole new holiday for the birth of R’n’B and rap’s new savior.  Every year we will read the BeHovamas story:

“And there were some queers and white ppl who loved R’n’B and rap online, keeping watch over the internet for any celebrity baby news, when a gossip angel appeared to them, and the glory of the BeHova shone around them and they were straight up scurred.   But the gossip angel was like “OMG I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people IRL.  Like right now in NYC a savior is being born; Beyonce is having her baby!  And it’s the re-incarnated spirit of Michael Jackson!  This will be a sign to you:  You will find a baby wrapped in Burberry cashmere and laying in a hand carved four thousand dollar crib, crying in perfect pitch.”